Style Crimes: When the best home improvement is un-improvement

Sometimes homes improvements aren’t really improvements at all. We take a look at some of the most tragic – and hilarious – style crimes that have been committed in the name of “fashion” and home “improvement”, and look at ways of putting them right through smart un-improvement.

1.     1970s rooflines

Why is it that more Style Crimes seem to have been committed in the 1970s than any other era? It was an era of experimentation, a time of “out with the old, and in with the new.” Some of the new ideas haven’t stood the test of time – including rooflines like this one, thank God. Some people celebrate this kind of seventies architecture, of course, relishing the different textures and lines. But if you’re not among them, you could try recoating this roof in a lighter colour to make it seem less heavy and brown, or replacing it completely with something more pleasing to your eye. 

 

2.     Fake brick cladding  

This house – once more from the seventies – would look OK if it weren’t for the brick cladding which not only isn’t real but also looks as if it’s afflicted with some virulent fungal growth. The remedy: Surgery. Get Dr Fix It in to strip off the old (care needs to be taken because this kind of cladding can contain asbestos) and graft on a pleasing new skin. Your neighbours will thank you for it.

 

 

3.     Unsympathetic additions

What were these people thinking? This house has been added to in such a way that you would swear that parts of three different houses have just been thrown together, or that they’ve started building a second storey and run out of money. The solution: Keep going – finish off the top half.  

 

4.     Aluminium windows in older houses

This isn’t exactly a character home but someone has destroyed any character it may once have had by replacing the original windows with nasty aluminium ones. But all is not lost – some timber framing around the outside of these windows would add depth and hide some of the nastiness. (Repairing the broken board-and-batten, painting the roof and walls, straightening the front fence and a spot of landscaping would do wonders, too.)

 

 

5.     Great ideas gone bad

This style of creative architecture and decoration would appeal to some, but if you’re one of them, we recommend you hit the “back” button now and return to the planet you came from. Still, we are nothing if not optimists and we reckon this Style Crime can be reversed – either through demolition or the application of the brightest minds in Fix It to the problem.

 

 

 

 

6.     Not-so-golden arches

This house is the victim of multiple 70s Style Crimes – dark-brown clinker brick, brown aluminium windows, a dodgy roofline (although at least it’s not brown), latticed windows on and around the front door – but the worst of them all is the arches. Not just one or two of them, but more arches than a Roman aquaduct. If all you did was get rid of the arches, all else could probably be forgiven (and there would be a lot less risk of scraping the top of your four-wheel-drive).

 

 

7.     Trailer park royalty

If you’re going to live in a trailer park, you might as well make the most of the space you’ve got. This “redneck mansion" is so bad, it's not criminal, just funny  - which is why we've included it here! 

 

 

 

 

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